Sengaja memberhentikan waktuku, supaya dapat lah kiranya melihat dia di akhir waktunya. So that I could spent more time with her. Setiap hari, setiap pagi, setiap hari bekerja menghabiskan waktu ku hanya untuk berada disisinya dan melihat dia setelah usai mandi, lalu dia sisir rambut putihnya yang masih cantik dan sihat. Dia selalu gemar merapikan diri dan bercantik-cantik.
I literally told myself to, just stop do whatever I was doing. And I look at her, look at her old wrinkle hand and ngomelan, celotehan panjangnya setiap hari. Sometimes she had many things to say. Sometimes, dia jarang sekali berkata-kata.
The only thing she will forever asked, “Ada makan apa?” atau “Ada makan apa tu atas meja?”. And she give me some gesture “Ahhhh tak payah masak. Beli ajelah...” or sometimes she request something that she really want to eat. And I had to cook for her.
“Teringin nak makan Mee Suah”, she said.
“Okay nek”, I said.
“Atuk tak suka Mee Suah”, beritahu nenek.
And then she eat alone. (My task was just look at her)
Lalu dia menghirup kuah Mee Suah, and she said, “uiiiii sedapnya!”
That feeling after seeing her eat my meal, dishes that I cooked it truely satisfied me.
The funny thing was, I was not trained to be in the kitchen since I was a little girl. I hate the connection that I had with kitchen... periuk belanga, kuali, ayam, ikan, daging, cili, bawang dan rempah-rempah. Truely doesn't fit my interest. But later, grandmother develop my interest when she ate my meal everytime I cooked for her.
I begin to show my interest to cook in various traditional meals then. WOW! I am shocked at myself! This is something that I didn’t expect coming from me. I wonder why only it happened to me eventually (almost) at the end of my grandmother life. I mean at that time when she no longer go to the kitchen and cooked. Incapable and a little fragile. I was actually would like to learn all the recipes that she inherited from her Javanese - Semarang origin family (on her mother side). But she was just unable to do so.
However, she did share one of her special Javanese recipes that she used to cooked and I really missed her air tangan.
And the recipes called ‘Mbek Mbek’.
“Abis tu cengkih..”
“Sudah tu letak asam jawa..”
“Abes tu santan, lepas tu golek-golek kan dia dengan Lele”...
Sayang sekali, she didn’t teach me how to do it. I just listen carefully to what she said.
Because she always had something to say and I am usually on my spontaneous, and random self (my usual kind of behaviour). And she truely understand my nature. After I lost my mom, she the one who nurtured and beside me.
Grandmother was a young bride at the early age of 13 years old, and her parents choose her groom. And she absolutely not kind of rebellious kid. Even though atuk was (21 year old), 8 years apart from her.
Later, they happily tied the knot together.
She had so much respect towards her parents. I mean both of them--since everybody at the Kampung Melayu knew them (my great-grandparents), and everyone owed them and truly appreciate their good manners and courtesy.
But somehow, after married she was a rebellious young girl at heart. Finding a job at that time, (during pre-war, colonial days and post-war) was tough and absolutely not easy. And not many opportunity and much choices for the local people especially. In order to survived, you cannot be picky in terms of finding your most suitable job that suit you. During that era, you either take it or leave it!
***
Di suatu hari, daku bawa nenek jalan-jalan, dari Jalan Gombak ke Kuala Lumpor melalui jalanraya moderan MRR2. Di sepanjang jalan itu, nenek berseloroh tentang seberapa banyak pemandangan landskap dari kaca matanya sudah tampak berubah.
All the way, along the road, she witness once upon a time, the area was her familiar spot. Her go-to place/area when she was young. Suasana dan landskap aslinya sudah hilang, dia berceloteh tentang betapa ia tidak sama lagi seperti yang dia lihat dulu.
"Nenek selalu jalan sini..", Nenek beritahu.
"Jalan kaki..." katanya lagi.
Tanah-tanah yang dulunya kawasan lombong biji timah kini sudahpun berubah wajah. Sudah tidak sama. Bangunan-bangunan tinggi dan premis-premis yang tumbuh terpacul bagaikan cendawan menurutnya, adakalanya nampak tidak seiringan dengan landskap alami asli. Misalannya bangunan-bangunan yang didirikan berdekatan gua itu (dimana dahulunya lokasi berhampiran situ merupakan bekas tapak kawasan lombong bijih timah) dan kaya bahan alami. Natural green forest dan ia dimusnahkan oleh kerana berdirinya bangunan yang tidak sepatutnya di situ.
“Kenapa dia orang buat rumah, bangunan tinggi dekat sini (berhampiran gua)? Padahal boleh buat...” Nenek tunjuk ke arah tapak berhampiran dengan Gua Batu ketika melalui Jalan MRR2. "Dulu ini Lombong Bijih Timah. Kalau buat kolam... taman kan cantik, orang boleh jalan lalu-lalu..", katanya.
“Ada banyak bangunan-bangunan lagi pula”, katanya lagi.
She just taught they shouldn't ruined the natural landscape. And the developer or government should have done something better. And preserved the story of historical area/site. And moreover, some of the buildings are abondoned dan dihuni PATI.
Nenek sebenarnya selalu banyak idea dan cadangan. But it is true sometimes, as far as I can see. And I hope I can see more functional and clean outdoor park for kids around here. The only park they had nearby adalah Taman Metropolitan Layang-layang yang mana sudah terlalu sarat dan penuh dengan umat-umat manusia dari seluroh pelusok Gombak dan kawasan sekitarnya.
Di suatu ketika, dia juga ada berseloroh tentang pengalamannya berjalan kaki dari Jalan Gombak, Jalan Batu, Jalan Ipoh ke Chow Kit, katanya hanya berjalan kaki.
"Tak jauh ke nek?", tanya ku.
"Tak jauh. Dulu jalan bukan macam sekarang", katanya.
"Nenek jalan kaki dari sini (Batu Caves) ke Kampung Baru (Kuala Lumpur)" katanya lagi.
**
She get married at the very young aged. In 1950, she held her first child when she was 14 years old. And she need to survived. She was rebel young girl at heart. Gemar bergaya mengikut trend semasa. Seperti yang terpapar di poster wayang gambar di Panggung Wayang, gambar dan majalah-majalah fesyen dan aktres Hollywood 50an dan mengidolakan bintang klasik Hollywood ternama kelahiran Itali, Sophia Loren.
Ternyata dia salah satu wanita moden di zamannya yang gemar mengikuti arus trend semasa. Bercelana, dress pendek dan berpakaian mengikut potongan badan sesuai corak dan warna senada ketika era gemilang itu.
Nenek bercerita tentang dia pernah dibawa ke acara gala fashion show.
"Dulu nenek dibawanya pergi fashion show"
“Siapa bawa?” Tanyaku.
“Tu..mamm (madam)” katanya. (Puan Kolonial, majikan nenek)
"Dia bawa nenek. Bukan duduk kat luar tau”, beritahunya bangga sambil tertawa.
“Tapi duduk dalam” katanya lagi.
"Dalam mana?" Tanyaku.
"Dalam Pavilion” jawabnya
“Kat mana tu?” tanyaku.
“Dulu ada Pavillion?” Tanya ku lagi.
“Ada. Kat Jalan Mountbatten*", Balas nenek.
"Special tau. Bukan duduk kat luar... duduk dalam sama-sama dengan dia", beritahunya beberapa kali. Sambil gelak-gelak.
**
On one sweet day, after she gone, I was looking and going through her apparels and Kebaya's in her wooden 60’s vintage closet. She had a very nice collections of cloth in the oldens days. And she must felt very proud everytime when she wear them especially the classic and unique one that she had on a very special occasion.
Setiap helaian baju di gerobok lemari kayunya itu, ku lihat satu persatu lalu membawa ku menelusuri kisah hidupnya suatu masa dulu.
I opened the wooden door knob of my grandmother 60's vintage closet and I randomly picked one of her many Kebaya, and I pick Green Kebaya and it fit me really well.
AND I LIKE IT HOW IT FEELS.
Me and my cousins, we all wear her top, bottom (kain) and kebaya on her last day.
And from that moments on ...
We do believe she will always stays with us, deep in our soul. As long as we can remember, all her good deeds and everlasting sense of humor will forever stays in our heart. And she was a truely one of a kind grandmother, the one and only, none like other.
Nota Kaki/Footnote
*Jalan Moutbatten kini adalah Jalan Tun Perak, di Kuala Lumpur.